"find out who you are, and do it on purpose"

So, I have to say that I am finding this portion of the program difficult! Blogging, that is. When I heard the reservations last year's BB group had with the mandatory blogs, I was surprised! I used to keep a journal, and I really enjoyed that therapeutic release, so this couldn't really be that much different...could it? Well, it is, indeed. This may be partly because my thoughts and feelings are being presented for all the world to see (or at least for those who care to read!), rather than being hidden away in my pretty (and slightly juvenile) homemade journal with the words "KEEP OUT! PROPERTY OF TINA BRUNO. PRIVATE!" scrawled across the front and back. (Growing up in a big family, it was important to be very explicit when it came to privacy.) While I understand the importance of blogging for this program, especially in order to reflect and communicate while we're away at our placements, I find it unnerving to know that I am being vulnerable "in front" of those whom I wouldn't otherwise.

I think that another reason blogging my progress through BB makes me so darn nervous is because part of me believes (expects? hopes?) that this experience will have a major part in shaping who I am. I guess you can say that I am a late bloomer because, at 26, I still struggle with trying to find out exactly who I am. The process of self-actualization can be a difficult one, however most people get to do it in the comfort and privacy of their close circle of friends and family. But I, I get to do it for all the world to see! OK, OK, so maybe the whole world doesn't really care about my blog and my quest for the "real me", but its scary, nonetheless.

*sigh* I guess I can say, though, that I'm pretty lucky to have this opportunity. If this experience shapes me the way I'm hoping it will, then at least I will have a tangible record of the events that changed my life! That's a good thing.

P.S. The quote I used for the title of this blog is a lyric from one of Dolly Parton's songs. I'm not really a fan....I was watching "A Walk to Remember", and it was in Jamie's mother's book of inspiration. See! Sappy teenage movies are not only a great emotional release, but they can also be educational! :P